My Cauliflower shaped tuxedo of bunyans

Yesterday when I was walking to work I sat beneath a marmelade tree. I was tired so I cracked open a bottle of cotton, using a nearby squirrel as a bottle opener. I couldn't help but think of how the world had changed since the last revolution. Newspapers walked around and talked like they owned the place. There was one flagging down a taxi right in front of me. A feathered pillow. I didn't move because I was so comfortable laying on my raft made of feelings and ceran wrap. This ocean is salty. The ocean made of ear wax had enormous waves that made me think of opera and apples. I jumped off my raft and landed on a dinosaur. He was crying. I noticed that when he cried he turned into a ladybug for just a brief second, and then back to a dinosaur again. Donald, I naturally called him, why are you so happy? Because I can never be a leaf that people read he said. I couldn't believe how angry he was. So, without even bothering to answer him I took my dog of grid paper and flew to the desert where I knew I could get some peace and quiet. When I arrived I layed out and cracked open another bottle of cassette tapes and ate it down. Boy I can't wait until I am a pirate. How nice it would be to use magic and spell words. The fat man curses. A bug crawled on my eye as I lay there so I ate it. I have become tired of eating with my mouth so now I eat with my eyes. As I continued to walk I saw

Weird Things I've Noticed

I got to thinking about this when I posted the comment about how when you write a word over and over again it starts to look foreign. It's so strange. So, I started thinking about other weird things I've noticed. Here are some:

1. One side of a Pringle always has more flavoring than the other, and when I'm eating them I'm always in a constant debate about whether to eat that side face down or face up. Usually I go for face down, right on the tongue, you know, instant gratification and everything. But sometimes it really gets me down that the moment all that flavoring hits your tongue, it's over and the rest of the chip-chewing experience isn't as good.

2. Justin and I have a knack for picking the line at the supermarket that will take the longest. I know a lot of people claim this, but for us it's actually true. It never fails, and it really makes you wonder at God's sense of humor.

3. I've noticed lately that people follow certain patterns when in the same situation. Let me explain. I was watching "The People's Court" today, as I do quite often, and all of the sudden it hit me. When the judge makes her ruling, and the people exit into the hallway, there is this guy standing there ready to interview them. He usually talks to the winning party first and the losing party second. And it never fails that the people approach him and he has to tell them where to stand. Hmm...maybe I need a visual to help explain this. Hang on...

Okay, as you can see, the people exit the door there and they are supposed to stand on those X's facing the camera. But it never fails that, instead, they come up to him like is shown above, totally ignoring the camera. And that's not an ice cream cone, it's a microphone. He has to tell them to "stand back" or "move over" or what have you. And he's not a very polite man, either.

Another example of how people follow the same patterns was at work today. I think I will need another drawing.

Okay, so this is a very crude drawing of an aerial view of the breakfast room. The red X is where I'm sitting in the kitchen and the dark black line in front of me is a window where I can see the breakfast room.

The two rectangles on the counter are the waffle makers. People will take a cup of waffle mix, pour the mix in the waffle maker, and then turn their head left, turn their head right, holding the cup in their hand. Then they ask me where the garbage is. I think they think there should be a garbage can on the counter or something. So I tell them where the TWO cans are. They are represented by the two black X's. One on either side of the room, one right when they came in. I can't believe how many people do this EXACT thing every day. It's very strange.

4. The weirdest thing EVER is how people get used to smells. Have you seen this? You walk into a room and it smells awful but the people in the room can't smell it. Their noses have adjusted to the smell. It happens to everyone, I know, but that doesn't make it not weird.

I guess that's all the weird things I've noticed lately.

What we did for our anniversary

So I know everyone's dying to know what we did for our anniversary. I've been putting this off because it's such a pain to post pictures with Blogger. It takes FOREVER. But, here we are. The first thing we did was sleep in.

Then, Justin played "Mario Bros. 2 The Lost Levels" while I got ready for the day.










Meet "The Wad." For reference to "The Wad," see the T.V. series "Undeclared."






It was a perfect blue-sky day...







...And the trucks were out pumping the sewers because everything's thawing out...ah...






Gas prices on our 2nd Anniversary











What we listened to on our 2nd Anniversary. If you can't read it, it says "The Strokes, Room on Fire"






What we rented on our 2nd Anniversary. "Shaun of the Dead" and "Election"

Where we ate

What we ate. This one's Justin's

And this one's mine.

Then we headed over to D.I. for some hideous and embarassing outfits...

...and we succeeded.

but look what he made me wear!

Here is "The Wad" riding in the car. Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!

and on to the ghetto bowling alley and arcade!

"The Wad" came with us, naturally.

but Justin stole the show with his super name-putting-in-game skills.

I concentrated but unfortunately, it didn't help me win.

As I always say, (starting now) ice cream is necessary after such strenuous exercise.

"The Wad" is lactose intolerant, but enjoyed perusing the ketchup and mustard bottles.

And after all this, we headed home and...did some other stuff. Like, watching a movie and playing the Wii, and etc. All in all, very satisfying day. I think we need more ice cream.

Two years sure flies by

happy anniversary! happy happy happy happy happy anniversary! happy happy happy happy happy anniversary! happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy

you know when you write one word over and over again and it starts to look really foreign and wrong to you? that's so weird.

Justin and I have been married for 2 years today! He is still sleeping and I am listening to Cursive and writing this. In the past 2 years we have moved once, traveled countless times, adopted a cat, jesse's had 3 different jobs, and justin's had 3 different jobs, we both went to SUU: jesse for 2 semesters and justin for 3. we've watched approximately 586 movies*, and jesse watched an unknown, but incredible amount, of hours of T.V. shows. In the past two years we've abandoned said cat, paid 11,125 in rent, and about 4,000 in dentist bills, we've had 2 pregnancy scares (but I think we were just paranoid) and we have gained 2 neices, 1 nephew, with two more on the way (congrats to Heather and Jason, and Amelia and Brent). In the past two years, we have used about 8,591 cellphone minutes, gone out to eat more than we've eaten in, and written 285 blog posts.

It's all been pretty dang good, if you ask me. :)

*according to "Justin's Movie List"

Glorious Happy Sunny Days

This is Jesse, yo.

We have finally been experiencing some happy sunny days here in gloomy, crappy Cedar City. Hurrah! I feel like I've been trapped in a dank dark gloom hole. I seriously forgot what it was to be warm. Yesterday, Justin and I sat on a blanket and talked at the park in the warmness and it was pretty much the best thing ever. I am a St. George girl through-and-through. I am a sun-worshiper. These kick-backs to Winter we've been having, with the wind and the snow and wetness, are crap.

In other news: I've been writing a new screenplay these past couple days. I know what everyone might possibly be thinking. "Oh, okay, ANOTHER project that will never get finished, ho hum." And my answer to that is this: "PEOPLE! You are my family! You are all required by DNA and marriage to support me regardless of how annoying my never finished projects get!" and also some of this: "This project WILL be finished! Because it was finished! And then Justin read it and said I needed to fix a bunch of stuff and so I am and will! And then it will be finished! And then we will sell it to a production company for a million dollars! And we will use it to buy presents only for those people who pretended to be unannoyed by me. (And then the production company will hire a real screenwriter to rewrite it and I won't get any credit, ho hum, but I'll have a million dollars.)"

Also, Justin has gotten to, and almost beaten, World 6 in the impossible "Mario Bro. 2 The Lost Levels" and that's really cool.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

This book is fantastic and I would like to recommend it to all of you. Especially for those who have read "Pride and Prejudice" but it's enjoyable regardless. Here's the back cover of this book, just so you have a better idea of what it's all about:

"'It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.'

So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As out story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton--and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers--and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpeice of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.

Jane Austen is the author of Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion, Mansfield Park, and other masterpieces of English literature. Seth Gramme-Smith once took a class in English literature. He lives in Los Angeles."

And here are a couple of the illustrations in the book:

"Two adult unmentionables--both of them male--busied themselves feasting upon the flesh of the household staff."

"Mr. Darcy watched Elizabeth and her sisters work their way outward, beheading zombie after zombie as they went."

"Elizabeth lifted her skirt, disregarding modesty, and delivered a swift kick to the creature's head."

I have been completely delighted by this book. The Austen parts as well as the Grahame-Smith parts. It's just fun. So, everyone should read it and let me know what you think of it. Jesse out.

Who loves the dentist?

I do. Psych. I hate him, and his stupid grandma assistant. Not really though. As a person, I really like our dentist. He is a great guy and a great dentist. I just hate what dentists do. I hate the concept. As you have probably guessed Jesse and I recently went to the dentist. Jesse was just going for a check up and I was going because we thought I had an infection. So, Jesse has been to the dentist once since we have been married and hasn't been in for a cleaning since 2006. I have been a zillion times and was just there eight months ago. Jesse comes out and she has one cavity! Yes, I freaking said ONE! I go in and it turns out the infection is from a tooth that has died and killed the one next to it. Now I brush my teeth two times a day and don't eat any worse than Jesse does, and I was just there eight months ago and none of this was there. So goody for me, I have to go back in two weeks to have a root canal. Sweet. I have only had two before, I was starting to think it was time to have another one. I need that pain. It makes me feel good. I love them drilling a hole and putting that screw thing into my teeth, and cutting the garbage out of my entire mouth. It's brilliant. Man, from my teeth to my balls I am just falling apart. And poor Jesse, she is in great health and has to keep putting up with all of my garbage. Bless her heart. Yeah, it's going to cost a tiny two grand. And the best part is that they don't allow people to just make payments any more. After some serious heat from us and telling them that there is no way on this planet we will have two grand in two weeks, they were generous enough to just let us pay five hundred on our next visit. Yeah, our paychecks put together aren't much more than five hundred dollars. So we have to pay them in four installments of five hundred dollars. Something always comes up around our anniversary and breaks us. But I guess that's life and Jesse doesn't hold it against me so that's great. I keep telling her it's our parents fault for my crappy teeth, yeah, she blames you as well mom and dad. So we are poor again, but crazy in love just the same, so who cares. Ended.