Death to Spoof Movies

So...I finally watched a movie I have been anticipating for quite some time. First off, let me explain my intense love and fascination for everything "superhero". Maybe I'm a geek that way but I love movies about superheros. The X-Men movies and the Batman movies (old and new) are great. Yeah, the Spiderman movies were kind of duds in my opinion but it doesn't deter me from fully anticipating the next big new superhero movie. This included THE "Superhero Movie". Yay, I thought, making fun of superheros! Fun! Funny! Yay!

We didn't see it in the theater... Sad! ...I was eagerly waiting for it's transfer to DVD format when Justin informed me they wouldn't be getting it in at Hollywood Video... Dreams dashed again! And then they were getting it at Hollywood Video! I forgive you for aforementioned dashed dreams!

We rented it. Then we began watching. Suddenly, without warning, we were accosted with gaudy sexual inuendos, atrocious slapstick "humor," and the main focus of the movie: Spiderman. (As I said, Spiderman is the last superhero we need more movies about in this world.) What a disappointment!! I couldn't believe how much my face hurt from NOT LAUGHING. Really.

So, I decided that if someone really funny would go to Hollywood and actually make a funny, witty spoof, they would make so much money and it would be awesome. Every spoof I've ever attempted to watch were the same, no matter the topic: disgusting humor and people getting hurt. You know, running into things and such. It could be so much better. I think it would be kinda easy, too. There's not much competition out there for funny spoof movies. Maybe I'll be the one to do it! That's it, I'll be the pioneer for a new spoof movie! A spoof movie for the intellectual! Until then, death to all spoof movies.


This is the opinion of Jesse Kay Betts and does in no way represent the views or opinions of the World Wide Web, including but not limited to, justinandjesse.blogspot.com and their loyal readers of whom Jesse is not trying to offend by insistently and, with no regard for anyone else, brashly bash spoof movies.

The Movie Collection Embarkment of 2008: The Slums of Beverly Hills

The Slums of Beverly Hills

made in 1998

rated R

Jesse: Hmm...what to say about this movie. It's very funny, but it makes me uncomfortable at the same time. This is a movie that I would be embarassed to watch with anyone but Justin; not knowing how different people would react to said humor. But, the main character, Vivian Abromowitz's, relationship with the drug-dealing Eliot Arenson is hilarious. And it makes me really appreciate that my family doesn't make incredibly inappropriate comments about my breasts. So, lastly, if you love Marisa Tomei like I do, it's a good one to catch. ***

Justin: This is one of those movies that I have a hard time properly conveying my opinion. It is really funny, the writing is good, the acting is good, and it's not slow, so I feel like I should like this movie more than I do. I can't quite put my finger on it....but with all that nothing being said, it is really funny, Marisa Tomei and Alan Arkin are a great comedy team. I do especially love how they tackle taboo issues, especially for a movie set in the '70's. Overall, funny but not a lot of replay value. ***

Elder Michael

Jesse, here. Just thought I'd say a word on my little bro, Michael. He is on a mission in France right this minute. I miss him, he's the coolest bro ever, and he recently sent me a hilariously cute email. Enjoy:

hey Jess! How are you doing? I didn't forget about you.. it's just been a little crazy the last little while. I just want you to know that I love you, and I didn't mean to like shoot down your hopes i just want you to be happy...but be smart.. (not saying you aren't smart....) that didn't come out how I wanted it to. oh well. love ya. -Elder Laws

What he's referring to is the fact that he pointed out it would be crazy for me, at this time, to quit working on my Creative Writing degree to become a Veterinarian. And he was right. :)

The Dark Knight

...........Those little dots are the only words i can find for this movie. Where do i begin? Where batman begins?? Ok dumb joke. Seriously though, this movie teaters on the line of brilliant. Then with the opening scene it smashes through that line and makes a hard right to awesomeville. Population 2. Ok, seriously though again, this film is so brilliantly filmed, written, and acted by heath ledger. Heath Ledger's joker is the greatest on screen villian i have ever seen. To still a word from Bryan, i have never seen a villian that sinister and evil. His character just dominates the screen, and when his scenes would end, i would find myself completely in awe, and never wanting him to leave the screen. A lot of people confuse him for funny. And granted some of the things he says are funny, if you really think about what he is saying, you realize how completely evil he is and it makes it all very haunting. His character actually scared me. My favorite line in the entire movie was when one of the mobsters called the joker insane, or maybe it was crazy....it doesn't matter and then the joker said, "No, i'm not. I'm not." His delivery on those lines were so chilling you could actually feel everybody in the theater get uncomfortable. If he doesn't win the oscar for best supporting actor it will be the greatest tragedy in cinematic history....and yes i do believe that. I think they should give him the best actor oscar, but they won't because he doesn't have enough screen time. This film is just more than Heath Ledger's performance though. Not only is it the best picture of the year by miles and miles, but it is the best film i have seen since No Country for Old Men. Speaking of No Country you can definitely draw lines between the Joker and Anton Chigurh. I don't know how to spell his name. Both are very mysterious in where the originate from and they believe in chaos and madness, and everybody that crosses them feels their wrath. There are two shots in this film that absolutely blow my mind. The shot of the Joker in the police car, after he breaks out of the jail (i love how they eliminated sound completely) and the shot of the joker after batman dodges him on the batpod. The camera shoots him from the ground looking up, it is absolutely beautiful. Now to my theory on two face. I do not believe two face died. this is why. When they started the batman franchise, Christian (I apparently beat up women) Bale signed on for three batman movies, and Christopher Nolan only signed on for two. I can't imagine Christopher Nolan not coming back for the third one, but if he doesn't i think they ended the movie the way they did, so that whoever does the third one can use whatever villian he chooses and doesn't have to continue Mr. Nolan's storyline. But i do believe he will return, so two face will as well. Commissioner Gordon is going to save Harvey Dent's good reputation and then it is going to come back and bite him big in the final installment. The only problem i have with the movie is Bale's "batman voice"......that has got to go.
----Justin

The Movie Collection Embarkment of 2008: The Weather Man

The Weather Man

made in 2005

rated R

Justin: This film is fantastic. Despite all the obvious product placement (which there is so much it's almost just a two hour ad, for Wendy's, Arby's, McDonalds and so on). This movie is hilarious. Nicoloas Cage's character, for me, is such a loveable idiot. He tries so hard, yet never gets passed what he wants for his family and never actually gets to what they want. So much hilarity in this movie, I might throw up. ****

Jesse: I tried watching this movie once and wasn't too impressed, I must admit. It's so sad, and I hated the Weather Man so much that I couldn't finish the movie. But, this time around, I loved it. The humor is my favorite kind, subtle and dry. This time I didn't hate Nicholas Cage's character, David Spritz, I felt really bad for him. He's unbelievably lonely, and he has no idea how to deal with it. True, he handles it in all the wrong ways, and says and does all the wrong things, but this time around, I really sympathized with him. I also finished the movie this time and the ending totally redeems the rest of it for me. *****

The Movie Collection Embarkment of 2008: The Crow

The Crow

made in 1994

rated R

Jesse: I give The Crow *** only because Brandon Lee is the redeeming factor in this movie for me. The plot's okay and his character is interesting, but he takes everything to the next level, with no help from the rest of the cast. Some of the so-called "bad guys" were laughable at best. I'm a big fan of the anti-hero, and Lee portrays it well.

Justin: Although this movie is not as great to me as it once was, i still thoroughly enjoy it. Despite all the bad acting, and bad writing, Brandon Lee makes a cool character come to life. He is the one reason to watch the movie and for me that is enough. **** for me.

A little clarification

Recently it occured to me that sometimes it's ambiguous which one of us (Justin, Jesse) posts particular posts. (Thanks, Nic!) From now on, we will try to sign our own posts. This is Jesse, by the way. I work at the Comfort Inn and just got a promotion, and Justin works at Hollywood Video and just got a promotion. Yea, us!