People are Retarded

I have always known that people are quite retarded, yet they never cease to amaze me. Here is a little story from work today.
So Ryane (yes, HER name is really ryane) and I were just working and these two butch ladies come up to the counter. Ryane goes to help them and the fatter one says, "you guys should really have an adult section." So Ryane just kind of looks at her like she is a perverted lesbian but then the lady clarifies. She says, "because you guys have so many offensive movies in here, I would never let my kid come into this store." Okay, first of all, you're retarded. Secondly, if the lady that is with you hasn't slapped you yet, she is more retarded than you are. So because an 'adult' section means to Ryane and to every other normal human being a 'porn' section. Knowing this Ryane says, "We only have movies that are rated 'R' and under." Then the lady says, "this store is disgusting and you guys have so many offensive movies they really should be taken off the shelves. So just letting you know that we took a lot of offensive movies and moved them and turned them backwards so people can't see the covers, because it's just not appropriate." At this point Ryane just looks at me, she is fuming, but because she is having to deal with them I am kinda laughing at her because these people are RIDICULOUS. Then the lady goes and grabs a movie off the new release wall and brings it up to Ryane. There is a picture of a zombie on the back, she points to said zombie and says, "see this? This would give my kid nightmares. That's why i will never bring him in this store." So then Ryane in complete disbelief says, "why would your kid look at the back of that movie?" I almost died laughing. Then the ladies ask for our corporate number because they are going to call them. But first they say that they are going to go around our store and write down all the covers that offend them. Then they are going to call our corporate office and say that they will not be coming back into our store until they are changed. And they did. They walked around our store for twenty minutes writing down movies. If these two ladies had balls, I would kick them square in them. There are so many things wrong with their logic it's not even funny. Well, it was a little bit, but do they really think that Hollywood video has any say on what goes on the cover of movies. C'mon retards. And secondly, the world doesn't revolve around you and nobody cares about your petty little complaint. Nobody. As they were leaving they said that we should be ashamed for working in such a store that obviously has no morals. Then came one of my favorite lines that I have ever said (even though it's retardedly blasphemous.) Ryane said, "Why do they think they are so superior to everybody else? Do they honestly believe they are perfect?" And I responded, "Don't worry about it, they're just drunk on Jesus."

K-C-C-Karma

I don't know if everyone's heard. Probably, I've told almost everyone I can think of because I think it's so funny. But, anyway, when Justin, Keshia, and I (jesse) were leaving to head up to Idaho to visit my parents, Justin backed into my dad's truck that Keshia had just parked in our driveway. Once over the shock of it, Keshia and I couldn't stop laughing. Justin wasn't amused. It did a little bit of damage here and there but nothing too major. We got the truck fixed up nice and pretty, and now we just need a tail light cover for our car.

Now, I need to explain a little back story. My sister Keshia was going to Idaho a few weeks prior to this incident, when she had a bit of car trouble with her little red car. If you want to read her explanation for it, click here. And, before that, when driving up to Cedar City, she went off the road when a semi changed lanes at her. So, after Justin backed into the truck that fateful day, we were joking around about Keshia's Crappy Car Karma. Everytime she goes anywhere, something bad happens.

So, why would Justin and I agree to go to St. George with her on Wednesday? I'm not sure. But we did. And, about a mile from the Toquerville exit, K-C-C-Karma struck again. It was quite windy, so when she swerved a little, I thought it was that. But then the car was feeling really weird and she was like, "something's wrong, something's wrong...should I pull over?" We pulled over to find the back left tire completely shredded. I'm talking SHREDDED. So, we're trying to find the jack, which we can't, so we're waiting for someone to please please pull over and help us, which someone eventually did. Two nice men who showed us how to use the strange looking jack that we did, in fact, have the whole time. We got back on the road, made it to St. George and back again without further incident, but Justin and I promptly told Keshia we would never go anywhere with her ever again. To which she replied that she might not go anywhere ever again anyway. :) It's okay, it's always an adventure. :)

Flight of the freaking Conchords

This clip is from one of my most favoritest shows of all time "Flight of the Conchords." It's freaking hilarious and everybody should watch it. It's about two New Zealanders who come to the U.S. to try and make it big as musicians. They are a bass and guitar duo, and have an awesomely bad manager named murray. He is also a new zealander. Seriously, just watch the show. It's the funniest thing ever! Oh yeah their names are Brett and Jermaine. Those are their real names because the show is based on them for real. But because they are kiwi's they pronounce them Britt and Jumaine, and it's funny. So every episode they have a couple of songs relating to what's happening in the episode. These are their real songs and you can buy their cd. They are hilarious. In this episode, Brett is having a problem with his self-esteem so Jermaine writes him a song to make him feel better. Now watch it be funny.

Video kick

So obviously we have been on a kick with posting these music videos lately....and it shall continue. Once again it's going to be a Beatles video. This song is called "Get Back" and is totally awesome. It's not in my top 25 favorite Beatles songs though, I am posting it because the video is awesome. It's from the last concert they ever played, and it's on the rooftops in England. It's fantastic. The video is cool because it's raw and real. Like at the beginning the guitars aren't working properly, and the cops want to shut them down, and the improv by Paul McCartney on the mic makes me laugh. By the way, when they show the fifth beatle (The black guy) keep your eye on Paul and watch him rock the crap out of that bass. Seriously, the man is extremely talented, it's completely mind blowing. But don't worry mr. Lennon, you are still my favorite Beatle, but i do love paul as well. On a side note, and probably deserving of a blog of it's own, I just want to say that I absolutely love every member of my family and would do anything under the sun for any of them. I don't know what I would do without any of them. My family is amazing, and i pity everybody that never has a chance to spend some time with any of them. On that note enjoy this video and feel free to rock out.

-Justined again!

Ben Folds

I just posted my "Captain" post and I started feeling guilty. I can't do this without posting a Ben Folds song immediately. He is a BRILLIANT musician. He has been my favorite forever. Not only is he an amazing lyricist, but he is an incredible pianist. One of the best I've ever seen. The song I chose is called "Fred Jones, Pt. 2" This video is Ben Folds at his best. He sounds so amazing live, it's almost unbelieveable. I don't know if anyone knows his history, but he was with the band "Ben Folds Five" for awhile. After they broke up, he did the album "Rockin the Suburbs" completely solo. Some of his greatest songs come from that album, including "Fred Jones, Pt. 2" Now he is still technically a solo artist, although he has a pretty permanent band touring with him. I will probably be posting a lot of Ben Folds songs because I think he's a genius. I forgot to say on my last post, the songs I'm sharing are ones that seriously speak to me. Anyone who is an avid music lover knows what I mean by that. Please please enjoy "Fred Jones, Pt. 2"

Jesse's Favorite Songs

I would like to share some of my very very favorite songs, because they must be heard. I would love to hear honest opinions about them, too. My first one is by my favorite band, Guster. (Although I feel like I have to mention that my favorite solo artist is still, and always will be, Ben Folds.) The song is called "Captain." I love it because it's groovy and powerful. This video is a live performance but they sound almost exactly like the track on the CD. This song also reminds me of a poem by Walt Whitman called "O Captain! My Captain!" that I've always loved. I'll include it as well. My only complaint of "Captain" by Guster is that I wish it had one more verse. It's just too good to be so short. Enjoy!





O Captain! My Captain!
Walt Whitman

1.
O Captain! my captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring,
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

2.
O Captain! my captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths--for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.

3.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Serenity

Okay, so I just watched "Serenity!" Jeez...it was good. And also sad. But, Kelsey, you were right. They didn't tie things up as tightly as I would have liked (a.k.a. Mal and Inara) but overall, it's awesome. I love it so much and I must own it. yay for Joss Whedon. He is the MAN.