Positives of Pregnancy I Didn't Know Before
1. The hair on my legs doesn't grow as fast as it used to.
2. My baby knows me and responds to my voice. And, by the way, he thinks I'm a good singer. Take that, Simon.
3. Instant Mommy-Mind takeover.
4. Instant membership into Mommy Club.
5. I always have a ready conversation topic.
6. An excuse to eat whatever I want and get really fat, and no one can say boo.
7. Government-sponsored medical care.
8. I get to live in my sweatpants.
9. How early and often I feel baby moving. I poke him and he pokes me back.
10. Overwhelming, intoxicating excitement.
Negatives of Pregnancy I didn't Know Before
1. Sometimes, when you sneeze, it makes you pee a little.
2. Sore belly-button.
3. The waddle.
4. Shortness of breath.
5. Uncontrollable oohing and aahing at all things tiny and blue.
6. Lots of attention from strangers.
7. Complete inability to lay on your back, or stomach, or right side.
8. Pinched sciatic nerve. Ouch.
9. Lots of gross body stuff that no one talks about, and neither will I.
10. Fear.
3 comments:
One of your negatives is actually something Heather and I really enjoyed. And that was the attention from strangers. It just made us even more excited for our little one to be born. It was nice to see that all the stupid people out there really can be caring humans even though they didn't know us.
So, I get a weekly newsletter about my baby and what she should be doing at her age...at the bottom is always a little joke or comic. This week's made me think of you, especially the third one! Here it is:
Five things you wish could be a little more dry:
• Your baby's chins.
• Your shoulder and hair, after a burping session.
• Your underwear, after sneezing.
• Those two spreading circles on the front of your shirt.
• Your eyes, whenever you see a hurt animal, your baby's face, or an even vaguely sentimental long-distance phone service commercial.
I really hated it when people I didn't know touched my belly! And people will give you attention after the kids born; they start touching your kid and that, for me, is even worse. If you want to see godzilla mom dieing to come out, have a stranger come up and touch my kid.
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